Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Horsing around

I just read this article on News24 – yes, the site has not been banned (yet) in Soviet Nam – on how 'Organised crime targets sport'.

Pharmaceutical companies are scoring big time cashing in on parents who approach sports scientists and nutritionists and what-not to supply their soon-to-be-superstars kids with these illegal, performance-enhancing drugs.

Since it’s become public, they’ve found it harder to supply these drugs and some are now turning to untested veterinarian products instead. Now that’s not as weird as it sounds, as I know people - I won’t mention names – who have tried the occasional horse tranquiliser (Ketamine aka Special K) and are none the worse for it. How it can enhance performance, however, I don’t know though, as these people end up thinking they’re melting scuba-divers, trying to swim away on the dirty carpet of their dodgy flat for a few hours or overindulge, lose control of their muscles, disappear down a "K-Hole", hallucinate and lose the ability to comprehend language all the while squibbering around like fish-out-of-water till the effects wear off.

I’m sure there must be some kind of animal drugs which can help sports people, like an endorphin supplement used in bear-baiting (boxing, wrestling) or an amphetamine for greyhounds (athletics) or something, but I’d like to see an established professional sportsman try them. For example, let Os du Randt try one of these “uppers” and record the before and after effects. Before: Os du Randt. After: Bul du Randt. Should be a laugh.

I hope the South African Police Service crack down on these illegal horse-traders instead of spending their time on trivial matters like solving murders, rapes and hijackings.


loesil said...

Hi daar...dit is my kollega wat die storie geskryf het. Was Sondagaand op Carte Blanche glo ook 'n groot storie hieroor. Ongelukkig het ek nie MNEt nie, so ek moet wag tot Special Assignment wakker skrik en ook 'n storie daaroor doen.

Bly om te sien jy lees nog ons SA nuus!

henno said...

Nogals 'n interessante storie - sê vir jou kollega welgedaan!

loesil said...

Sal so maak. Hy is heel meegevoer. Maar lees gerus more verder, lyk my dit is 'n blik wurms wat oopgemaak is.

Wat is jy so bedrywig op jou blog?

Moes nou net 'n sokkerstorie vertaal. Ek weet nie wat ek sal wil doen as ek permanent in die sportkantoor moet werk nie. Weet net ek wil beslis nie sokker doen nie.

Jou sokker-klasse in Maasdorp se klas het dus niks gehelp nie.

Wat se jy van Newcastle se Bond wat gefire is ná die BBC-dokkie?

mullet said...

Haha, the nameless folks who have relations with extremely anorexically challenged women when under the effects of said horse tranquiliser :), that brings back funny memories.