K on the up and up

Remember the Horsing Around post about how organised crime and drugs are hitting sport in SA and how Os du Randt may or may not be at the forefront of a Ketamine revolution in sports? Well it seems I may have inaccurately portrayed the fact that horse tranquilisers and amphetamines are probably of little use to athletes. Via Eyebeam Reblog, I read an article on how 18 chronically depressed patients were given Ketamine, and visibly cheered up within 2 hours.

Now see, I don't know if that was because they were imagining themselves in a hanamachi with three geishas in full attire tickling the small of their back (whilst still scuba-diving on their dodgy apartment floor), a few scantily-dressed Egyptian boys fanning them with palm fronds and feeding them globules of grapes, because Kate Moss was sitting cross-legged across their mid-riffs, lips slightly brushing their ears humming along to Pete Doherty's The Libertines, or whether - like other anti-depressants, it justs inhibits the uptake of serotonin.

Whatever the case - Ketamine makes you happy. So throw away the Prozac girls and boys and partake in the consumption of the only anti-depressant that, in only small doses, will have you holding long conversations with your refrigerator, skateboarding without a board and swinging from a toothpick. It's the breakfast of champion junkies, the special K, the Kesh, the Hoss hoss albatross - soon to be released at a pharmacy near you (make sure you're down with the lingo otherwise your prescription might not go through).