Today a delivery receipt arrived
on my desk at work that said a package had arrived for me at the local post
office. I was absolutely ecstatic. The reason for my elation was not because my
parcel of clothes which I had ordered from an online t-shirt had finally
arrived (thanks for the new threads, Threadless). I was relieved because of the
fact that the package had actually arrived. One of the main gripes expats
who live here have is the inconsistent and incoherent postal system in Vietnam.
Let me explain.
For a foreigner, the Vietnamese
postal system is as strange and unfathomable as rocket science would be to a
sixth grader, or the rules of cricket to a Vietnamese farmer (the term Kafkaesque springs to mind, with the
impending sense of doom replaced by a sense of inevitable extortion). For all
we know, there may be a hive full of little post elves somewhere behind closed
doors in the Saigon Central Post Office. I imagine they sit on piles of
unopened packages, wearing little Bưu điện uniforms,
doing little jigs while licking stamps, making paper envelope airplanes,
sorting the post, and deciding not when
they want to deliver the letters and parcels, but if they should deliver it!
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See that little elf on that box? I rest my case.
|
Too many times I’ve heard stories
of people’s parcels mysteriously disappearing into the “postalsphere” (I’m sure
those elves had something to do with it). Go onto one of the online expat
forums like Phu My Hung Neighbours, and on any given day you’ll find complaints
and concerns about letters, gifts and parcels not arriving. In my experience
there are basically four scenarios when awaiting post in Vietnam.
Scenario 1: Your post never arrives. This is a very possible
reality so don’t be surprised when this happens. Like a lost love, don’t dwell
on it. Forget about it and move on – life’s too short to worry about that
Kit-Kat or Crunchie chocolate bar that went missing in the mail.
Scenario 2: Your post arrives…sometime in the following year. This
often happens. I think the people at the post office just keep your post,
hoping that you will eventually give up on it or forget about it (or maybe it’s
those mischievous elves again?). This is especially annoying if you’re
expecting a package containing food or goods which expire. I once had my
parents send me a package from South Africa containing all my favourite
specialities – chocolates, boerewors
and droewors, spices and
condiments (Mr Balls Chutney and Ina Paarman’s Spices), and a bottle of good
South African wine (Springfield Estate Wholeberry). It arrived months and
months later (even though they had sent it express mail) and everything had expired
and become inedible – even the dried meat. The only thing which was still good
to consume was the wine, which had actually got better with time!
Scenario 3: Your post arrives, but it’s been tampered with. This is
the most likely option. Two years ago I sent myself a package from Australia
containing clothes, English teaching materials and books and some other
personal items. Eight months later, the package arrived, squashed, ripped open,
then taped closed and torn open again, obviously having undergone a thorough
inspection by the authorities. Everything was there…except for a few English
teaching books. I was upset for a while, but at least I knew that there were
some post office workers (or maybe a couple of post elves?) who are now
speaking English fluently thanks to my “gift”.
Scenario 4. You post arrives, but
it costs an arm and a leg to collect it. I once received a receipt from the
post office to collect a package which cost me eight times more to pick up then
the contents was worth! One thing I’ve learned is if you want to make sure that
the post office doesn’t overcharge you, make sure the price of the goods is
clearly displayed on the package. Also, don’t send anything dodgy (like English
books) or god-forbid some exciting and foreign like a vuvuzela. A colleague at
work just had to pay the equivalent of $600 for a care package sent from Korea
as it had to undergo a “culture check” (I think that means the elves had a look
to see if there was anything interesting they could eat or sell).
Scenario 5. Your post arrives on
time, in one piece, and unaltered. Don’t worry about scenario, as it is never
likely to happen.
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| "Not delivering your shit, since 1978" |
These seem to be the general
experiences most expats I’ve spoken to here have regarding the postal service.
Many foreigners these days just ask their friends, family or others visiting
from overseas to bring something with them on the airplane to avoid the hassle
and heartache of dealing with the postal service. Of course, I understand that
you can’t expect things to be the same
as it is back home – but sometimes you just have to complain to get it off your
chest. And after all, what else can you do? Write a letter of complaint
addressed to the post office, hoping they will receive it? Yeah, right...
